Francis Weller’s In the Absence of the Ordinary: Soul Work for Times of Uncertainty features essays on grief, change, and what he terms “sacred transitions.” One of its opening affirmations is that, in the world of soul, “down is holy ground.” In the spirit of other depth psychologists, Weller calls us to humility, mutuality and to “embrace not knowing.” This book provides a vessel by which to frame our days as activists and people of conscience in 2025. According to Francis Weller, we are in a threshold time wherein we are being invited to radical change that “nourishes the life of the commons.”
Writes Weller: We must turn towards the feeling of instability that is pervading our time and offer a place of refuge to ourselves and one another by practicing self-compassion, turning towards our feelings, and marveling in the beauty with a sense of patience. We need to see that our time calls us to reimagine our era, and we need to do this as adults in a culture that worships youth and childlikeness. In this way we find our purpose, and we can set about the work of repairing and renewing the world, starting with our communities.
“Restoring rituals of initiation is at the heart of any meaningful cultural change.”
The opening of the book calls us to embrace the yearnings of the soul through initiation, which is described as not optional. Weller calls initiation a “contained encounter with death.” (Trauma, he describes as an “uncontained encounter with death,” after which we are in a “suspended initiation” until, that is we “re-establish our place within the wider cosmological context.”) Contrary to popular conceptions, initiation doesn’t traditionally mean a deepening in individuality, teaches Weller, but rather, initiations are an entrance into the “sacred dimension of mythic life,” and were “never meant for the individual” but rather require community, ritual, the sacred, time, and place (familiar geography):
“It had nothing to do with personal growth or self-improvement. It was an act of sacrifice on behalf of the greater community into which the initiate was brought and to which they now hold allegiance. They were being made ready to step into their place of maintaining the vitality and well-being of the village, the clan, the watershed, the ancestors, and spirit. It was never about them, but about the continuum of generations to come.” (18)
Respect, Restraint, Mutuality, Reciprocity, Gratitude, and Courage
The above are the values that the text lists as traits we come to embody as we mature. To find “courage” in this list was unexpected. But it is needed in our time as we mature into a tapestry of resistance, and–this is me talking–against fascism and environmental collapse. We need to deepen solidarity with the environment and the colonized alike. We do this by committing to the “sacred work of transmuting loss into wisdom”: “The inner work invokes silence and solitude as places of hospitality for our suffering hearts. The outer work takes on the wisdom of sharing wisely what is moving in us with those who can receive what it is we are expressing without judgment or advice” (70).
The courage to practice restraint
In my interpretation, part of courage is practicing restraint in the face of oppression and political backlash, so that we can play the long game across generations. We need to contain ourselves to find ourselves in the lives of others, and this requires that we cultivate our “capacity to notice and attend, reflect, witness, engage, and love.” Weller argues that, “Restraint is a form of trust in the deep workings of soul” and that through restraint we deepen our ability to receive. If we are rapacious in getting, getting, getting, then generosity can’t reach us. We are too busy grasping.
“We want to be in loving relationships while simultaneously hating ourselves. Our ability to receive love is proportional to our capacity to welcome all of who we are. Self-compassion is a skill that needs to be exercised and developed regularly for us to remain open and available to life. It is the gift of a generous heart” (102).
“We are all indigenous to this stunning and wild world…”
Weller asks us if we could live by the heartbeat of the sacred rather than the rhythms of economics. He argues that we need to say thank you rather than demand more, the latter approach being one that leads to isolation and loneliness. Generosity should be our path, says Weller, and generosity is the means by which we judge the strength of a community.
“A central quality of soul medicine is resistance, a protest against reducing the wide arc of our lives into a meager expression as we try to fit into the cultural demands for conformity. The soul resists such a flattening of our essential being.” (138)
My own reflections
As I read the book, I was gratified to be holding it. Depth psychology and wild mind books help me to find myself when superficial and yet deeply earth-shattering daily news cycles are designed to destabilize and disorient us. What I really would have appreciated would have been if Weller had discussed the world going into a descent during this time of national and international upheaval. Margaret J. Wheatley writes about this, and I will post about her soon (hopefully!).
The medicine that this book recommends is the slow medicine of intentionality, which is just what the doctor ordered in this fragmented society that makes humans into consumers and craftspeople into cogs of a machine that keeps whirring faster and faster with each technological advancement.
I really think that the downturn in justice and righteousness in our society, in favor of fascism and Christian nationalism, is an invitation to dig deep and do the soul labor that will bring a new era of justice. If as culture workers and stewards of political and racial healing we see this as an initiation into the cycle of civil rights movement of the 50s and 60s, and prepare ourselves to prepare others to be initiated into the world of antiracism and justice, we might be replenished rather than merely exhausted. We have our work cut out for us, so we need to dig deep. Weller’s book helps us do just that. I highly recommend it.
