Over a 20-year period, Ted experienced four episodes of severe depression. He lives with Bipolar 2 Disorder and has been mentally and emotionally stable since 2007. Now retired, Ted dedicates his time as a mental health advocate. This interview is not in any way intended to stand in for professional consult. Call 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline or go to the nearest hospital in case of an emergency. Read more about the disclaimer here.
What strategies have you used to manage your mental health over the years?
My depressive episodes were a little unusual. I had several major episodes of very serious depression which required hospitalization, starting at age 28 as a young lawyer at a large law firm here in Houston, and then continuing through my 30s and 40s. Between episodes approximately seven years apart, however, I was completely asymptomatic without medication. That’s the unusual piece.
After the third episode, I started psychotherapy to identify why these cycles were repeating themselves. I had resisted therapy up until that point, which I recognize in retrospect was a foolish decision. I had an outstanding psychiatrist for seven or eight years of intensive therapy, who helped me identify psychological triggers that kicked off the downward spirals of depression.
I eventually learned that I had been misdiagnosed for decades. My diagnosis for many years had been major depressive disorder, but my psychotherapist suggested in the late 1990’s that we try a mood stabilizer, which is a type of medication used to treat Bipolar 2, along with a lower dose of an antidepressant. This new medication made a huge difference, and I continue to take these two medications today. If we think of mental health conditions like other illnesses—which we should—you can say I’ve been “in remission” for ten to 15 years now, using medication as well as recognizing and mitigating psychological triggers.
One thing I’ve started recently that I wish I’d known about when I was younger is contemplation. I sit down for a 20-minute period and start with deep breathing. A couple of chants or mantras that I’ve picked up help me to relax. The remainder of the time I just try to let go of thoughts, feelings and any other distractions that come up. This practice is incredibly challenging for somebody like me, who’s a do-er rather than a be-er. I’ve been taught to focus on my breathing and maintain that state of non-activity. I’ve found contemplation to be beneficial, both physically and spiritually. Ideally, I’d do this practice twice a day, but I usually manage only once.
What encouragement would you give someone who is facing now what you experienced earlier in your life?
It’s important to realize that mental health conditions are treatable and manageable—if people are willing to seek help. Unfortunately, this is where stigma comes in. Many people do not want anyone to know that they have a mental health challenge because of the discrimination around these conditions. In some cases, disclosing a mental health problem can affect people’s careers, dating lives and families. So many people hide it.
In my case, I had no choice because when I had my first episode, I was completely dysfunctional. But for a lot of people, depression can be milder, and they convince themselves they can manage without support. What I wish people realized is that these challenges should not be looked on as some sort of failure of character, behavior or willpower. You would never recommend that someone just manage their diabetes, high blood pressure or cancer by force of will, so why is it different with mental health?
Like managing many chronic illnesses, there are basic things you can do to put yourself in a better position—healthy diet, rest, exercise, stress reduction—all the things that are good for everyone, but particularly important for people with mental health challenges. The important thing is to recognize that while it’s not going to change overnight, you can manage your mental health and recover to lead a productive life.
I’d recommend taking things one day at a time. Or if that seems too challenging, just one minute at a time. The more you can focus on this day, this minute, you can get through it. Depression and anxiety cause time distortions—you get stuck thinking about the past or the future—but if you can remember that right now I’m having a meal, or even taking this bite, then the next bite, that helps to get through. Of course, like all mindfulness, this is easier said than done.
Another thing I’ll say is that things can get better, perhaps in unexpected ways. My life turned out to be dramatically different from what I had planned and expected when I graduated from law school and started my legal career at age 25. While it was challenging—to say the least—to live through several severe depressions accompanied by suicidal thoughts and feelings as well as with hospitalizations, these episodes opened the door to some of the best experiences in my life—helping people who are dealing with symptoms of depression get through and carry on.
The decision to go public with my story at age 60 was very liberating because I no longer had to feel ashamed or guilty. I learned to see a mental health challenge as an illness like other illnesses. Going public freed me psychologically, and I was then able to get involved in various activities like being a facilitator for a support group; giving talks for The Stability Network, the National Alliance on Mental Illness and for groups of other lawyers; and connecting one-on-one with people who are facing a mental health challenge. I strongly believe that giving back has been a big part of the reason I have been stable for a long time.
Ted Weiss is on The Stability Network’s board of directors. He is a commercial litigator who has represented some of the nation’s largest public corporations. Over a 20-year period, Ted experienced four episodes of severe depression. He lives with Bipolar 2 Disorder and has been mentally and emotionally stable since 2007.
Now retired, Ted dedicates his time as a mental health advocate. He volunteers with several nonprofit organizations that support people with mental health challenges and seek to break down the prejudice, discrimination and stigma against these conditions.
